What people may not know about me..

I am an Agoraphobe, and I'm doing very well..

Last Winter I bought myself a T25, I was left some money by an aunt, my fathers sister, and felt I had to do something special to me, something important, something useful, my Dad would have told me to..

My intentions are to take my 'house on wheels' anywhere that I might not have gone before, doesn't matter where, just 'out ', and I am so excited to do so, which means I was right to want to own it.

Some people said 'where are you going?, and why did YOU buy this?' but they have to realise that this is very important to me, and even if it sits outside for months, it's my safe place that I can move around in, and they are rather missing the point as to why I need it.

To me this is a positive step, a few years ago I wouldn't have entertained the thought of  my van 'Bessie' although I was always envious of people who did, so this means I am pushing my boundaries, be it baby steps, doesn't matter, to me it's giant strides.

Agoraphobia presents itself in different degrees, I suppose its one of those self limiting illnesses that can get a grip on you but only if you let it..
Some people are housebound or even room bound, but for me I'm kind of comfortable in my zone which is at present a distinct and familiar radius from my home..

There are a number of fears that I have personally, I hate being in a queue in supermarkets, I hate public transport,and that includes planes and boats, I feel uncomfortable in places where I might feel trapped, like for example a cinema, or a restaurant, where I am looking for easy exits..
Being at home is  'safe', and going somewhere I haven't been before simply isn't, if all of this sounds like you then you probably have a form of Agoraphobia..
The thing with me also is I have Emetophobia too (fear of vomiting) which doesn't help me one bit because when I get anxious I feel sick, so I try to avoid doing stuff that stresses me, this is a big shame because ordinarily I feel I could have overcome the Agoraphobia much easier as I am keen to push barriers, but this added fear has made it more difficult.

There was a point about 3 years ago when I found even a walk up to the top of my road impossible, but with Cognitive Therapy I got much better, I think for this thing to not get the better of you, you have to keep pushing the boundaries otherwise they will invariably close in on you..
I am very fulfilled generally, and I manage to live a very fruitful existence even with all of my foibles, but that's because I have so much to fulfill me with my creative outlets, and my family and of course my wonderful friends  ( you know who you are )..
I think its about making sure that you don't become reclusive or depressed..
And if you think its a restriction then it most certainly is..